I had grown tired of my tedious German homework and decided to take a stroll through the neighbouring woods (hopefully would stumble across a few potential instagram moments, because well, isn't that why we do things nowadays?)
It was here, walking through the soggy leaves, hoping to come across some epic unusual assemblage of fungi to instagram that i actually came across something completely different.
I came across my love for George Michael.
Yes, you read correct.
George Michael and all his tight jean wearing, hair gel smoothing and unobtainable sexy goodness.
Yes, i had a lovely time walking through nature but the best part of the whole venture was the dancing and jigging through the trodden paths despite the concerned eyes of the occasional swiss hiker.
George Michael is a boss. I don't care if you disagree, you're just haters.
Before i go out for a night on the town trawling for men do you know what i do? I fucking listen to some George Michael. Do you know why? Because you can't put on 'Faith' and not bop around and get in the mood for some sort of mischief. It's impossible. If you somehow find that you can resist, then you are obviously some kind of half human half robot species that NASA was experimenting on for prevailing lifespans around the time you were born. Ask your parents.
His songs are sexy. They make you feel sexy, even if you are the most uncoordinated and grace void person there is (me).
So todays life lesson: get onto some George Michael tunes if you need a little internal sex-appeal boost because i'll tell you what, between his days in WHAM! (when the ladies were lining up) and his solo career (when the men were flocking) this guy has had more sex than the entire Big Brother line-up of every season, of every country, ever. Think about it. Slutty people tend to be on that show.
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